Who's calling?

On Friday, most people leave early- sometimes they don't even come back from lunch. Your bog-standard Receptionista, though, isn't supposed to do that. She has to be manning that front desk, rain or shine. Most of the people who work here waste this early finish to go and drink in the pub with each other. Surely you'd want to get away from the pricks that have been doing your head in all week, not socialise with them! I guess they take the time to do all that fucking networking and bonding I'm always hearing about.

The phones are usually quiet on a Friday afternoon- you'll usually only get a few callers who are new to the game and have no comprehension that most offices do fuck all on a Friday afternoon and insist on speaking to some manager who's probably on his or her tenth G&T by now- either that or halfway round a golf course. It goes a bit like this:

Bored Receptionista: Hello (company name). How can I help?
Inexperienced Caller: Erm, hi, can I speak to your IT manager please?
BR (wise that the IC is just chancing it and doesn't have IT manager's name): May I know who's calling?
IC (attempting to conceal salesperson identity): Oh, it's just John returning his call.
BR (now on full alert because caller has a) said 'his' when referring to female manager b) been a bit cagey about his company name: We have several IT managers. Which one called you?
IC: Er, the senior manager. I forget his name.
BR: I'm afraid without a name I am unable to help you. I could leave a message with the IT department and see if the person who called you recalls the conversation and will call you back?
IC: ....
BR (taking this bitch right down): Sir?
IC (in a very small voice): Oh it's OK, I'll call back later.
BR: Very good sir.

Quite what he expects when he calls back is unknown. Usually a sales co just gets a different caller to ring in in the hope that the receptionist will get bored of the constant calls and connect them to the IT manager or whichever honcho they're after. They underestimate me though- I never get bored of toying with these chancers. Nothing gets dropped in your lap, guys. You want that lovely commission and a chat with the manager? You gotta work for it!